World Traveling Military Family

Doula Inspirations

            "Your doing great, keep up the good work" I say as I am standing behind a laboring mother, rubbing her back as she rocks on a birth ball.  As I watch and comfort her I remember to myself how I got so lucky to be able to support birthing women.  There is nothing more incredible than helping women during their journey to bring their babies into the world.  I remember the day that I discovered what a doula was and how I discovered that I wanted to be one. 

            When I was sixteen I found out that I was expecting my first child.  While I was shocked, I just knew everything would work out. Through the hospital I was to deliver in I was given the name a childbirth educator who volunteered her time to help teenage moms.  She taught a natural childbirth class.  At the time while I enjoyed the class I had no idea how lucky I was to receive this type of class instead of the typical hospital medically oriented one.  This woman was wise, kind and generous and truly touched my life.  The birth of my son was an amazing experience, but this story is not about my delivery.  When my son was six months old I got a call from the teacher of my childbirth class.  She asked if my mother and I would be interested in meeting with a woman and supporting her during her labor and delivery.  At first I was excited and yet a bit confused.  I asked her why she wanted us to meet with this expecting mom and she told me that the mom was coming into town to have her baby at the birth center and had no support system.  She thought my mom and I worked great as a team and would be up for the opportunity.  I talked to my mom and we agreed that we would meet with, Rebecca* and see where it went from there. 

            Rebecca was a single mother who already had a young daughter.  She had come from a town three hours away to use the birth center in our town.  When we met her we found out that she would have her sister there, but her sister would be watching Rebecca's daughter and her children.  She asked my mom and I questions about ourselves and then asked what we charged.  We both looked at each other and said "nothing."  We wanted to help this woman and we did not expect her to pay us, the thought of payment had never crossed our minds.  She told us that where she came from there were women like us who were called a doula and they charged for their service.  We once again insisted that we wanted no money and were more than happy to help her.  On the drive home all we could talk about was that there were people who actually made a living by helping laboring women, I knew I would be researching doulas in the very near future.   Later that night she called to tell us that she would like to have us there for her birth.  We were all excited and knew the next two weeks would be interesting as we waited for this amazing experience.

Two weeks later around 6:00 pm we received a call from Rebecca's sister saying that Rebecca was heading for the birth center and wanted us to meet here there.  My mom and I were very excited and yet nervous at the same time, we had never done this before and hoped all would go well.  It was here at the birth center while I helped to support Rebecca that I knew this was what I wanted to do, that somehow I could become a doula.  As we comforted Rebecca and I read to her the affirmations she had given us I was inspired by her trust in us.  She barely knew us and yet we had been honored with the privilege to attend her birth, I was awestruck.  During the labor, which was long and painful, she never lost control and almost radiated with love for her child.  I had never seen anything so powerful before and felt humbled to be a part of it.  After hours of no progression the certified midwife and Rebecca decided that she should transfer to the hospital across the street for a cesarean section.  I kept a positive face and attitude on the outside but inside my heart was breaking for her, she was not getting the birth she had planned on and I felt at a loss.  As I drove her to the hospital I talked to her to help keep her calm and reassured her that everything would be fine.  In the waiting room I sat and thought about why her labor did not progress, what had went wrong?  When we were finally allowed into the recovery room with Rebecca and her baby I was overcome with relief that Rebecca and the baby were fine, he was a healthy 11 lb boy.  Rebecca and her sister immediately started thanking us for our support and I was surprised, as I thought we had somehow failed at our job.  I thought that she would be disappointed in us because she did not have the birth experience she desired.  She gave us each a big hug and told us she could not have labored as long without our help and she truly meant it.  She said she knew that it did not turn out as she had planned but that she and the baby were healthy so she was happy.  She was comforted by the fact that she had tried to have a natural delivery but due to circumstances beyond her control she was not able to.  She did not blame herself or us for her failure to progress, my heart was lightened.  She gave us each a small gift of a magnet that had a poem about friendship on it, with a penny that had a heart cut out of it.  To this day, almost ten years later, that magnet still hangs on my refrigerator and I am reminded of her and how that one trustful mother had inspired me to pursue doulaing.

                        It was not until three years later that I was able to pursue my dream of becoming a doula, I have reached my goal and am now a certified doula.  As a doula I meet with pregnant women during their pregnancy and provide them with educational information to help educate them about labor and delivery.  During labor I go to their homes and then hospital with them.  I use my energy and knowledge to emotionally support and comfort them, helping them to maintain a positive attitude.  I use massage therapy, a birth ball, hot/cold packs, experience, and other tricks of the trade to support them physically.  I cater to the laboring mom and her needs, thus being her "servant."  Being a doula is hard and exhausting work but the reward of seeing the miracle of birth and the radiating love of a mother and often father as well is worth every second.  Knowing that I help women and their babies to have a better birth experience is very satisfying.  I often wonder about Rebecca and where she is today, I would like to tell her of her inspiration.  It is amazing that you have no idea how much one single moment can impact your life so greatly and each day I am thankful for my past experiences and where they have led me in my life.  I am amazed that not only the mother but also the childbirth educator had faith in me despite my age and my own early pregnancy.  I want other teenage mothers to know that you can do anything you want and despite the circumstances there are people who still believe in you.  Getting here has not been easy, each day there is some new obstacle to overcome and each day I move forward in the process to overcome it.  I have found that being a doula can often been frustrating and disappointing at times and yet I could not give it up if I tried, my heart and soul would not allow it, my desire to be a doula is so strong it keeps me going.  I hope that one I will be an inspiration to other women and most importantly of all, to my daughter.