Wednesday, January 19, 2011

OH, the Aroma of a Malfunctioning Morning

I knew it!  I just knew that having three 3-day weekends in a row was just too 'good' to be true, sure we got the 3rd three day weekend but yesterday morning's return back to the work/school week sure started off with a bang....

Let me preface this by saying that I've been wanting a new microwave.  Yes, we have one that works BUT it's super small because I bought it with the hopes that we'd be betting overseas orders soon and would quickly be leaving it behind...yeah that was a year ago, sigh!  So having come to the conclusion that overseas orders may never happen I started thinking about getting one again, and then put it off, but Bubby just happened to drop and break the microwave plate...you know the clear glass wheel that you put your stuff on?  He dropped it when making bacon the other day, so that was my final excuse to go get one.  And yes it was an accident, I was on the phone with my dad so I can prove it ;p  Sure your microwave still works without it and just a regular plate in place (Yes, we tried it) but it also happens to burn stuff like popcorn, ect...guess they make those tempered microwave plates for a reason...who knew ;)

So Mr. B and I headed out yesterday to get one.  We found one we liked and then headed to check out toasters as Mr. B has been wanting a new one since our old one likes to eat your toast and waffles before  you get to them...I know we have some serious issues going on here.  So he finds a nice toaster on clearance, as well as a blender.  We bring them home, unpack them, and viola they are ready for business.

So first thing this morning Mr. B notices that our water heater is not working again...this is at 'least' the 3rd time we've had issues with it :(  You know what they say about free military housing...you often get what you pay for, LOL.  Free does not alway equal = best or often not even good!  So I tell Mr. B I'll call it in when I get back from dropping Boo off at school.

I attempt to make Bea a waffle in the new toaster, 5 minutes later I realize it hasn't popped and I walk in the kitchen and it's not even on...I start looking for some 'magic' button.  Not being able to find one I call Mr. B down to make the toaster that he picked out work, LOL!  He gets it on and less than 30 seconds later the waffles pop out, BURNT!  She wasn't having that so we go for attempt number 2, it results in less burnt waffles that will pass as edible.  Then Mr. B tries to make toast for himself and ooopps another burnt incident.  I had no idea a new toaster would have such a learning curve...ugh!  Reminder to self...do NOT buy new appliances the night before a school morning!!

So I head upstairs to do Bea's hair after getting out the English muffins for Bubby.  A few minutes later I hear Bubby yelling for help.  My hands are embedded in hair and rubber bands so I yell for Boo to help him.  I quickly finish the hair and notice a horrific smell traveling up the stairs.  I start yelling for the doors & windows to be opened before the smoke detectors start going off!

I sure wish I could post just a sampling of the air quality we were breathing it was FOUL and still is....HOURS later!  It was so bad that it caused the dog to throw up twice and then poo in the kitchen...all this before 6:45 am!  Sweet, the day is off to a good start!

Apparently Bubby had tried to cook 2 frozen halves of English muffin on a Styrofoam plate!  30 seconds in the muffins are blackened and the plate melted, with smoke pouring out of the microwave!  Just touching the plate as permeated my hands with such a horrible stench that even after washing my hands the dog will NOT come near it....oh the things I do to take a picture to entertain others ;)

So we get the foul smelling inedible muffins out of the house and I rush the kids to the bus stop.  As Boo and I are in the car driving down the street I start to smell something funky! I then realize that we've been  violated by the offensive smell and are taking it on the car ride with us!  I crack the windows but it doesn't seem to help.  Luckily for Boo it's only a 20 min drive, unfortunately for me it's 40 mins!  I am trying to pinpoint the source of the offending smell, I smell my clothes, we're smelling Boo's bag, and I realize that it has saturated my hair...which I've worn down in a ponytail...of all days to do such a dumb thing!  This keeps the horrid smell wafting around my face and nostrils as I try to drive down the road, I feel my eyes watering from the fumes that are relentlessly attacking my eyeballs!  I seriously start to consider if I could put my hair out the window and roll it up...sure it would look funky but at least I'd be able to breath! I decided that it's probably not a good idea because with the way the morning is already going I'd probably arrive home minus the ponytail and I somehow think that Mr. B would not approve of me with a 'military' haircut, LOL!

Here are pictures of the offensive items....

Yes, those used to be english muffins!

The backside, yep there used to be plate under them

So I get home from dropping Boo off and walk into the house to a smell that makes me gag, I open windows, doors, and start researching the Internet.  I boil vinegar, lemon, & water and place bowls of vinegar all over the house...the result a house that still smells horrible and that people should not be living in and breathing this air...alas here I am breathing it all up.  And even worse the servicemen are on the way to replace the water heater, I am horrified to find that they will be working for several hours in the midst of this odor...hope they get worker's comp, LOL!!

After endless amounts of Fabreeze, What Odor, boiling vinegar, candles and fresh air I'm starting to feel like we may be able to live here through the night.  The kids just walked in and Bubby asked "What is that smell?!"  I look at him and ask "Are you kidding me?! You know what it is!"  And he told me that it smelled like chicken...so I guess it's good if the first thing you can smell is dinner and not the pungent smoke that has terrorized me all day long.

So for the rest of the week the kids will be eating cearal for breakfast...until we can figure out how to operate these high tech toasters and microwaves, I am NOT doing that again tomorrow!




1 Comments:

At January 19, 2011 at 9:31 AM , Anonymous Omah said...

LOL..that had to be one of the funniest stories I've heard in a long time, reminds me of a similar time I experienced. I will tell you sometime and have a big ole laugh. Hope you all figure out your new appliances, they seem to be more challenging these days. Hugs to all, we miss you. Love Omah and Poppie

 

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